Neighbours

April 16.

Remembrance service for the wasps passed off without incident today. Found a mass grave of them outside the apartment. Identifying their killer(s?) is proving to be difficult but suspicions have been aroused by the unusual activity around apartment 184. Unusual activity being the proliferation of African honey bees that occasionally are launched from apartment 184's window in yours truly's general direction whenever approaching. Such ingratitude. Was only calling to congratulate the inhabitant on the fact that his erection was plainly visibile even without the use of the new binoculars recently purchased. Currently deliberating over whether or not assault with an insect constitutes a declaration of war. May declare war nevertheless. Football season almost over so should have some more free time on Saturday afternoons.

April 19 - 09:37 AM.

Got things going in proper fashion with a blowtorch, a fishing rod and a tripwire. Inhabitant of 184 seemed irritated by the results. Responded by shooting one of his own rotweilers. Fool.

April 19 - 16:01 PM.

Exchange of insect weaponry has escalated. 184 now launching dung beetles directly at window. Responded by opening fire using Asian Giant Hornet squadron. Killed something if the scream was anything to go by but possibly not inhabitant of 184. Unless he's developed some kind of automated firing system for dung beetles. Further investigation required. May come in handy.

April 20.

Hitler's birthday. Mutual cessation of hostilities and exchange of gifts. Mein Kampf was a nice present but that's now the third copy in possession. Will place it on the shelf next to the Communist Manifesto and observe the results. Smart money's on Marx.